For someone who is only 17 I have been through a lot in my life already. I have always had to take care of myself because my family never properly looked after me.
My dad treated me bad right from when I was a baby. It was like I was never good enough for him. He would bait me, even as a small kid he used to hit me and then say 'come on, hit me, stand up and be a man' and I would try to hit back and he'd belt me twice as hard. He used to kick or hit me if I didn't do what I was told. So I learnt to go along with whatever he said, and to keep out of his way.
The worst thing was that mum never told him off for the way he treated me. She would just yell at me 'don't get him mad, it's your fault you should do what he says'. She never defended me from my dad, she acted like I deserved everything I got. I started to believe that everything was my fault.
When I was about 13 I started drinking heavily and smoking pot every day. I also used whatever drugs I could get, just to get out of it, so I didn't have to think about anything. I wagged just about every day, until the school told my parents and my dad bashed me up so bad to punish me.
I hated school because I was always in trouble for having fights with other kids or with the teachers. But also I hated being at home. I used to stay over at friend's houses, and sometimes I would sleep out in car parks. The more I stayed away, the more scared I was of going back home, cos I knew I would get a belting for running away. I started sleeping in the city, in doorways or wherever, and hanging out with other kids there. It still was better than going home.
After a while I went to a youth support service and they got me into a refuge. Some of the workers there are cool and you feel like someone cares about you for once. They went in to Centrelink with me and helped me get some money, and they have just helped me organise my life more. They are trying to get me into long-term accommodation. Now at least I feel like I might have a future.